The List

When I officially decided to move my office to Muskogee (and my life too!) everyone kept telling me to be patient with myself when I got here and got settled in. They kept saying the exictement and busy-ness of the move would keep me occupied for a couple weeks, or months, but at some point reality would settle in and I might have a breakdown. We all know I do have breakdowns from time to time (okay, a little more often than that recently...) but in all actuality I felt like I was being very realistic about my move, my new home, my new town, my new office, etc. I was trying to take it all in, get settled, and be happy. And for three full months, so far so good!

Well... they were right. Official breakdown hit last weekend. I think it was amplified having just come back from a week in Florida. My vacation was wonderful and relaxing, even though every single day of it was busy! But Sunday was a rough day. I cried most of it, for no apparent reason. I tried to go through a list in my mind to figure out what exactly what making me so upset.

• Work? No... I love my job. Sure it's stressful and time consuming from time to time, but isn't every job?
• Family? Well, I do miss them, but I still talk to my Mom almost daily, and my Dad and Sister at least once a week, so that's not it.
• Friends? That could be a factor... I haven't made many new friends here yet, because I've given 100% of my time to work so far. And my friends back home know I'm a terrible "phone-friend"...

Seeing as how I couldn't exactly pinpoint why I was so upset and breaking down, Daniel suggested we brainstorm about last year, one of the happiest years of my life, and think about what was different then, and what was making me so happy then, and see if I can incorporate those things here. Just because my setting changed, doesn't mean my entire life has to! (May I just take a moment here to acknowledge the fact that Daniel is a saint? He moved from OKC to St. Louis, and then to Muskogee 5 years ago, so he totally understands how difficult it can be coming to a smaller town from a big city. He's been such a huge support to me!!)

So, Daniel and I spent Sunday afternoon making a list of things that will help me. This isn't complete, but here are some of the highlights;

• Work out regularly. When I lived in OKC, I was working out 4-5 times a week and feeling fantastic. Isn't it funny how if you just take care of your physical body, your mental/emotional body feels better too?
• Go out for lunch 2-3 times a week. I'm terrible about feeling too busy to leave my office. And I work alone. So I would say 90% of my lunches in the last 3 months have consisted of me sitting at my desk working by myself, and trying to choke down whatever I brought for lunch. No social interaction whatsoever, let alone any scenery other than these same 4 walls.
• Continue to make healthy choices. It has now officially been 6 days without Diet Coke or Coffee. I'm so attached to water now (finally getting my 8-10 glasses a day!) that I dont even miss the Diet Coke! I almost slipped this morning when I was at a meeting, and the coffee smelled amazing. I didn't even think about it, just went over to the table and started to get a cup... then remembered NO COFFEE FOR LYNSIE!!! I was proud of myself that I put it down and walked away.
• Have girls nights. Something I miss so much about the City is seeing Kristen and Linzy so much! When live got busy and we couldn't get together as much, we finally just set a standing date. Every Monday night was girls night! I miss having that female friendship in my life. And it's HARD to make friends when you're an adult! So I'm trying, and I've met a couple great girls recently.
• Exercise my creative outlets. I used to be so active in this area and I'm just NOT lately! I had evenings when I stayed in and read all night, or when it was warm out, I would sit on my balcony and write for hours. I was even participating in Open Mic Poetry! Somehow I've let that outlet fall by the wayside since I've moved, and I'm excited to explore local options. Something else that has help me back a little, is I started a 90-day Bible read in JAnuary. That has been a BIG commitment, and one reason I haven't read much of anything else lately. But I'm just a few days away from completion, and it's been such an amazing journey. (More to come on that later) I'm also going to pick percussion back up it looks like, and participate in the Muskogee Community Band. Woohoo!!!
• Dont work so much!! I need to exercise the act of delegation when I can. I have wonderful co-workers in Oklahoma City who have offered to help me with overflow work when I start drowning, but I need to take advantage of that! I need to try to leave work and work, and not have days when I come in at 8:30 or 9am, and leave at 8:30 or 9pm. TOO MUCH!

So far, in week 1 of the list, I've honestly felt a big difference. I worked out 3 of the last 4 days, and felt amazing afterwards. I've been drinking TONS of water and eating healthy options instead of the junk I started eating when I moved here. (Lucky for me I'm still blessed with a ridiculous metabolism, so it didn't hurt me at all!) Simply taking care of my body makes me feel so much better. Like I mentioned, I'm starting to make some new friends through our MYPros Bowling nights... and I'm feeling better about being here, and being me.

All that said... I'm headed to OKC for the weekend now, and I'm really excited about it. It's just too close to not go home every now and then! I'm looking forward to dinner with Dad, breakfast with Grandpa, possibly UFC tomorrow night (don't make fun.. I love that stuff haha!), church on Sunday and mostly, dinner with Sister's family on Sunday. I sure do miss those kiddos!!!! Happy weekend everyone, and I'm sure pictures will follow next week.