I was up late last night, talking with Mom and Kevin at the hospital. (More to come on that later.) I didn't get to sleep until nearly 1:30am. I was groggy and had a headache when my alarm went off at 9am this morning. I was sooooo tempted to stay in bed at Mom's house, and sleep the morning away, but I'm thankful I didn't. I got my grumpy-butt up, showered, got ready, and ran out the door for church.
I haven't been to church consistently in Muskogee, and I hate it. Summer got so busy, and it seemed like I was out of town most weekends. But now that it's Fall again, I'm recommiting myself to find a church, and invest myself there. Let me tell you about my experience this morning at Life Church Edmond.
It's easy to get lost in a big church. Esepcially one with multiple campuses all over the nation. But the 10am at Edmond was my home for years and years. I worked in "Under the Sea", which is the 2 year old bible study class, I helped with Switch, which is the Junior High groups, and I lead a Life Group for a little over a year as well. I was invested, connected, and it made that BIG place seem SMALL again. I had a church family, unconditional love and support through college and after.
This morning I walked into that old familiarity again. And it just happened to be Baptism day, which I have ALWAYS loved the most. During worship, they baptized 10-12 people, kids, young adults, entire families together, older people, and it was beautiful. and after a great message from Craig about the next generation (or as he described, 18-30 year olds), LifeChurch did something I've never seen before, but took great comfort in. Campus pastor, Miles, asked those of us in this HUGE congregation who felt like they are called to make a difference, to LEAD in some aspect, to boldy stand up. I stood, displaying my desire to not be stagnant, and to invest myself in other people's lives again. With me, maybe 100 other young adults across the room stood as well. He called us Timothy's... meaning the Mentees, who are growing and learning to lead. Then Miles asked all the adults, or Mentors (who he called the Paul's) to gather around those of us standing, lay hands on us, and pray.
Now I was used to this weekly at Harvest, where they lay hands, pray in tongues, etc. all the time. I've always believed whole-heartedly in the power of the human touch... and when it's in an act of submission to God, it's even more powerful. I haven't had someone lay their hands on me and pray, in years. And I realized, THERE IT IS. It's one of those things that's been missing all this time.
Tracy was a perfect stranger, until she gently put her hand on my back and prayed for me. It was quick, but it opened my eyes to the church family I've missed for so long. I told myself, and God, that I'm committing to finding that again, creating it for myself, and completely immersing myself somewhere, so that I can invest in the lives of people younger than me, so I can BE the difference.
And if having the cake, and eating it too wasn't enough, there was a topper: When I walked out of the sanctuary with the thousands of other people, I noticed it was pouring rain outside. I couldn't help the HUGE smile that came over my face. People around me scrambled for umbrellas and raincoats, as others sent their sons or husbands running out through the rain to pull the car around. I calmy and gently walked right past them, and into the rain. I was parked at the back of the lot, and I enjoyed the walk. I didn't run, or rush at all. I enjoyed the rain, the puddles; I'm pretty sure I smiled the entire way. And when I got to my car, I was DRENCHED. But it was so totally worth it.
This morning the rejuvination started on the inside... watching people get baptized, remembering the commitment I made a long time ago to be a leader for younger people, getting prayed for... then on the walk to my car, it was completed on the outside with the rain. Refreshing, cleansing... amazing.
Nothing is impossible with Christ. I will seek counseling and not be ashamed, I will continue to heal and ask for help, I will meet new friends and open up to people, and I will make a difference in the lives of others, through my service and my love. Muskogee will not run me over, but will be better because of me, through Christ.
"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, I give You control, consume me from the inside out. Let justice and priase, become my embrace, to love You from the inside out."
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