Real Sorrow

Bumped into an old friend-ish from college when I was home last week. It was random, and unexpected, interesting. We never really had much in common, save for the fact that we both love to read. We used to always trade author's to explore, or random quotes that impacted us. Last time I saw him, he was going through some really tough things, which led to other bad things, so when I asked how he was doing lately, I wasn't too surprised with the way in which he answered. He quoted Borges:

"...the temptation to dramatize my suffering... perhaps distracted me from all possibility of real sorrow."

This got me thinking... when something sad happens, a death in the family, losing a close friend, etc... how often do we allow ourselves to really and truly FEEL sorrow? Some people feed off the attention that the suffering brings. And sometimes that's not necessarily a bad thing. When someone is suffering, they legitimately need support, encouragement, affection. But how often does all the drama, however necessary or not, actually get in the way of navigating our way through a much needed sorrow?

Yes that's right, I said MUCH NEEDED sorrow. There is a reason for sorrow. There is a reason for meloncholia and sadness. It's a road map that leads to healing. The journey has to start somewhere. I've always believed if you don't experience heartbreak at some point, perhaps you don't know true love. If you don't experience depression, then maybe pure joy is foreign to you. I feel sorrow is synonomous.

Feeling that deep, dark, quiet place within us that is sorrow, is the only way to healing. When the shock is over, when the drama subsides, when the support and encouragement quiets down and then affections start to diminish, there has to be a point when you let yourself truly feel the sorrow. Now wallowing in the sorrow, is just part of the drama. I'm not talking about staying in that sorrow place for any length of time. But I do believe if you simply choose to ignore it, the path to emotional freedom will be much harder.

Brilliant quote from Borges.

Long story short, the guy from college is doing much better these days, thankfully. And as for me, today, I'm thankful that I have grown a bunch since my last encounter with college friends... I'm a DIFFERENT PERSON and that's a good thing. and I'm thankful that I haven't experienced sorrow in a long time. But I also believe that since I have experienced it, and worked through it, I learned two things: One, how to navigate it next time it comes around, because it will come around, and two, that the joy I feel everyday is brighter, heightened, because of my experiences. It's like my senses are sharpened.

Thanks Kenny, for the great quote. I need to explore some Borges now. =)